Confidencelink And Your Own `Inner Coach`Part One
February 11th, 2011
Hi again.
In today`s confidencelink `discussion` I want to help you focus on your own `inner coach` which follows on neatly from the last post that you have read.
This is crucial when it comes to controlling negative thoughts and programming. Our minds are a constant buzz of activity. As you read this for example, your mind is also processing many different bits of information some of which are significant while others are less so. Your brain is receiving information from all of your senses plus what`s taken in from all of your surroundings.
On top of all that you have to absorb this article too!!
However,the mind is not just a simple sponge because it also has to interpret all of the information it receives. Human beings are not just walking calculators because we actively engage with the information we receive. More often than not our memory of something that has happened is not a perfectly accurate record. A lot of what we remember depends upon how we were feeling at the time, what else was going on, who we were with and what our values were at the time.
The last point is the most interesting one of all because it means that out experiences are shaped by what we believe to be true instead of what we know to be true. The type of values and beliefs we have embedded in us determines the filter we use to process our memories. People with very optimistic values, for instance, will tend to draw the positives out of an event and vice versa. We therefore live in a strange circle whereby our experiences shape our beliefs and our beliefs shape our experiences.
When it comes to examining our point of view, we must take into consideration the subjective nature of recollection. It is fortunate that we have the choice of actively engaging with our sub-conscious to change our record of events. A lot of therapeutic intervention involves getting an individual to take an alternative point of view of an event. It is a bit like getting a pessimist to see the half empty cup as being a half full one.
If you have ever suffered from a negative experience, upbringing or traumatic injury, then remember that a point of view is never set in stone if you are struggling to get over it. Don’t feel that bad events or a dreadful childhood must condemn you to a life of problems.
Many people survive troubled family situations. The majority of adult children of alcoholics do not repeat their parent’s drinking patterns. The same is true of adults who have survived families troubled by mental illness, chronic marital problems, racial discrimination and poverty.
NOTE – Some children naturally rebound from knock-backs with their self-esteem intact. If you need help doing this now you’re an adult, talking to a therapist can help.
In the second part of this discussion we`ll take a closer look at the `inner voice`.
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